January 2011
19 posts
Lillian Elaine (recycledpages)
You know it’s not always you meet someone who understands you the way in which you wish to be understood. And it’s not everyday people say the words you wish to hear. Somehow, by some reason you came to follow me, and I came to follow you. You read my words and they meant something to you. You absorbed them, you began to like almost everything I wrote. It was hard to believe when I...
Boy meets girl...
This is a classic tale of boy meets girl. Only it’s really not. Everyone rolls the die but essentially every game plays out differently, and let’s face it love is just another game. So as it happens, boy meets girl and within a matter of moments they are both aware that something greater than the acquaintance of two unknowing strangers is afoot. But all is not as it seems, they don’t fall in love...
The Final Chapter
I always knew that one day you would no longer be in my life, that one day you would have to leave. But I never really expected it to be so soon. I just hoped you would linger for a while longer. I used to wonder if there even existed the words to say goodbye to you. How do you say goodbye to someone who’s been the rising sun in an otherwise darkened world?
You know part of me longs to...
Written Relations.
Writing is more than a tool of expression to me. It’s more than just words placed in a perfected order that tells tales of my heart. More than just a way to watch the troubles of my soul dissolve into a sea far greater than my own understanding. It is like watching aspirin dissolve in a glass to the point where it ceases to exist. And just like aspirin writing takes my pains away. You see writing...
A winter tree.
I’ve been on quite the destructive path lately. Tearing down all I ever knew. And in the wake of all the destruction that has followed emerges but a mere remnant of who I once was. I no longer recognise who I used to be, nor who I’ve become. It seems I just let go of all that made me who I was, with little fight.
I am just like a tree that has lost all it’s leaves, I hold no...
I love the cold wind, because that’s all that can draw tears from these dry eyes.
A new direction.
All men are born evil, but it’s love and kindness, hopes and dreams that keep that evil deep inside dormant and in most cases it never sees the light of day. But then there are those that lose love, that are stripped of kindness. They see their dreams crushed and all hope leaves them. Those men find an evil awaken in them, one that see that they destroy all they had, burn every bridge they...
What’s the fucking point of caring about anyone or anything. At the end of it all we are all just selfish, self interested, careless and loveless beings. Those emotions are just a byproduct of mating.
Ensuing Change.
There seems to be a change ensuing in me. One that I cannot battle, cannot shake nor defeat so all that’s left is to accept it for what it is. Change is a motion that follows, sometimes for good and sometimes for worse. But regardless change happens without caution or care. Without warning or a moment to brace yourself. So it seems I can either embrace it or fight a losing battle.
You see...
My Deluded Reality.
I’m often finding myself hoping that we lived in a perfect world. A world in which I can have all the things I think I deserve. All the things that I ever really wanted. Which isn’t all that easy when all I really want is you. But in my deluded reality you’re there and it’s just us filled with a happiness that even happiness itself would envy.
Sometimes I just think about...
Ticking hearts.
Our hearts are like ticking time bombs, we never really know when our hearts will eventually give out, when we will cease to exist. Sometimes though our hearts tick so fast that it can seem as though they may imminently explode. Like when you fall into the hands of someone you love, it’s scary but then you feel those arms around you and it’s like that ticking completely stops, in fact...
Diseased heart.
There’s been this part of me that’s been dead inside ever since that day. I can almost feel it, deep in the pit of my chest, this awful darkness that has been eating away at me slowly for the past few years. And I don’t know what it is, nor how to stop it. It seems the more time passes the less and less I seem to care about anything or anyone. It’s like a sickly venom slowly coursing it’s way...
Karma
Karma is bitch. I never once thought I would see you yourself go through everything you put me through in the time we’ve known each other. Worse still I never would have wanted you to go through it all within the space of a few short months, at least I had time to recover. Weirdly enough though it hurts to see you go through it, even though I know first hand what it’s like.
I’m not a vengeful...
Loved.
Love, said in the past tense can be the worst thing in the world to hear, it implies that someone once loved you but no longer does, or no longer does in the same way. Loved, says those feelings are long gone, that they no longer mean anything at all. I guess no matter how much time passes it never gets easier to learn that they no longer love you the way you hoped they still would. It never gets...
Worthy words.
For so long now I’ve been trying to prove to myself that I am worth something, that I have something in me that is in some way special. In fact it’s why I started this blog, to prove to myself that I could write in a way that others would find meaning and beauty in my words. I guess I wanted to feel like I was worth something, because someone once stripped me of all of that, to the...
“Now taking applications for a new girlfriend. I’m a total loser and a...”
Loved by words
I don’t think anyone has ever loved me, I think girls from my past have always been in love with the idea of me. You know a guy who can write beautiful words about her, that makes her feel special, feel loved like one in a million. The idea that they are the only object of my desires. Because they become the very essence of the words I write, encapsulated on a simple bit of paper for all eternity....
December 2010
24 posts
The way I write.
I am often told that the “way I write” is what they love about my posts, that I have a certain eloquence to my words, although I see no difference to that of the words of any other. I feel that every person I follow has an immense beauty to their words, that match if not exceed that of my own. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the compliment, believe me I do, I just think...
Thoughts of the year gone
So yet another year has passed, it’s not been easy, I feel even more weak and more broken than I ever have. Therefore unfortunately I don’t have as much hope or optimism for the year ahead as some may do. In fact if the past year was anything thing go by the prospects for the year ahead look bleak. However I do have expectations that I hope on some degree will be met. I live my life to...
