August is Over

I'm just a guy who likes to write, often it is deep, most of the time I tend to post my inner most thoughts and emotions. Sometimes it can be rather dark, but I see no reason for censorship. I don't often post photo's, I tend not to re-blog. So if you should choose to follow me, follow me with the knowledge that in reading my posts you will know me better than anyone in my life does, but then at the same time not know me at all. After all this blog is anonymous, as theres always fun to be had in mystery.

© August-is-Over. Copyright 2009-2013.

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2 weeks ago with 11 notes

Tagged: prose creative writing

Gravity

Everything in the universe revolves around an orbit of some kind, from planets around a sun to electrons orbiting around a nucleus. And for the last few years you have been my sun, my nucleus and everything about my being revolved around you, in a sort of balance. But when you told me you loved me but couldn’t be with me I became a planet that’s fallen out of orbit, and a planet out of orbit can do one of two things, I could fall into a gravitational pull and collide with you, and given the enormity of your walls, you the sun would recover, and I the insignificant star would cease to exist. Or fall free of your gravity altogether and wonder through time and space, become free flowing, rogue, eventually colliding with another to form something new and unknown.

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2 weeks ago with 12 notes

Tagged: prose

Wrong’un

I keep ending up in this place time after time, because it seems while someone can fall in love with me, and I for them, it seems for some reason or other they don’t want to be with me. And I end up feeling like this, like there’s something deeply and intrinsically wrong with me as a person. I know I’m far, far from perfect but I just never thought that I was as much as a wrong’un as I feel right now. The thing is whatever reason I’m given, I just hear the words “you’re not good enough, who would want to be with you, you’re delusional” and those are the words that stick, and slowly I start believing them to the point where I hit a low, like I am in now and it takes everything I have coupled with a very long time to recover and then I just end up in a lower hell than where I lifted myself out of oh so long ago, and it gets to the point where I can’t bounce back. And I feel like I shouldn’t even bother.

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2 weeks ago with 1 note

Anonymous said: you are loved. you are appreciated. you are beautiful. you are kind. you are amazing. you are worth everything. you are loved.

I don’t know who you are so sorry to be blunt but anonymously that means very little if anything at all.

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2 weeks ago with 7 notes

Tagged: prose

Bleed

I will bleed my heart dry and my blood will be the ink to my quill. And when I am done I will make sure no love is strong enough to penetrate these walls because no love is worth this. I don’t want to love or be loved if there exists the slightest possibility of me feeling this way ever again. If it involves losing someone so valuable and it seems all of this is my own doing.

I say this like every time I wake up with a hangover. Never again, and perhaps love is a lot like alcohol. And perhaps I’ll do it all over again wake up and say never again. Or perhaps I’ll quit this disgusting habit that has brought me more hurt than the few moments of euphoria will ever be worth.

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2 weeks ago with 104 notes

Tagged: prose

You broke me.

It brings tears to my eyes to say this. But you broke me, I don’t want to play the victim and I know by saying that I am. I just never thought you would or even could.

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2 weeks ago with 5 notes

This wretched blog cost me the most beautiful friendship I’d ever known.

And the irony of it all is that I need this blog now to heal.

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2 weeks ago with 9 notes

Tagged: prose creative writing

Dear Xeng,

I don’t know if you still read this or not, but I remember back to when we were both going through the roughest of times. But you were there for me and I know you probably don’t think it meant much or see a great deal of significance in it. But it helped me greatly.

We used to sit and watch 500 days of summer, you half way around the world and me here, we used to watch it and at the same time we would talk on Skype, it brought my heart peace. We must have watched it a dozen times and it meant the world to me. It helped me get over someone I never thought I’d be able to get over.

The reason I’m writing this is because I’m having to do the same again now years later and I miss you and how much you help me get over her and I wish you were here to help me again. I can’t ask that of you but maybe for old times sake I’ll pop 500 days of summer on and reminisce. It’s funny how something so small and seemingly meaningless meant so much to me. I didn’t realise it at the time but looking back I realise what a great help you were. I hope you’re well.

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3 weeks ago with 5 notes

Tagged: prose creative writing

Envy and Other Sins

Jealousy, and envy are two things that I’ve never really fallen in the trap of. I’m not often jealous of people, what they have, or what they do. I’ve always been either content with what I have, or had the drive to go after that which I did not, that which I longed for. But when things concern you, I find myself becoming overcome by jealousy, green with envy and I don’t know why, it’s so uncharacteristic of me. You went on a date and I haven’t been able to keep from thinking about it, I’m so incredibly jealous that someone got to take you on a date when I never have.

I’m envious of that fact that I never will. There’s no reason for me to be this jealous, this envious. I should be happy for you. I should be telling you that I want you to be happy and I know that it won’t be me that gets to bring you happiness and whomever it is, I’m sure that they’d deserve you. But I just can’t do it, I can’t bear the thought of it, I can’t contain the jealousy that just thinking about you with someone else stirs inside of me and it’s scaring me because it’s a side of myself I’ve never seen.

Part of me just wants to hook up with someone and tell you about it to stir a reaction from you but I can’t because I keep thinking what it would feel like to hear the same thing coming from you. And then the thought creeps in, telling me maybe you have met someone else you really like and are keeping it for me to protect my feelings, and that I’ve become victim to pity, and I don’t know what’s worse. I feel like this jealousy is making me go crazy and it just sucks. I don’t even have a profound conclusion to this, it just blows.

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1 month ago

itseasyjusttolookaway said: Thanks for all your writing

Thank you for reading. :)

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5 months ago with 62 notes

Tagged: prose creative writing

Asked me Once

You once asked me why I stopped fighting for you, why we couldn’t make it work and why I’ve moved on so seemingly easily. And well the answer dawned on me much later, and it was remarkably simple.

I loved you with every ounce of my being. I gave you and us everything I possibly could and them some, and while I don’t deny that you loved me too, your love was not the same as mine. With every passing day I loved you more than I did the previous day, and with every day to come I looked forward to loving you more. The thing was you were always playing catch up to me, you loved me today as much as I loved you yesterday.

I grew tired an weary of looking back to see you a step behind me, I wanted to step into the next day with you beside me. Not having to make sure you were close enough to allow me to take a step forward. I wanted to grow and let my love for you grow without restraint. But you never did catch up to me and it occurred to me that at one point I would take a step forward before you had taken the step to be behind me. And somewhere along the way I would lose sight of you completely.

They say to test the love within a relationship you ought to set them free and see if they return to you, if you welcome them back with open arms. I set you free and then I lost sight of you completely. You never did return to me.